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Saturday, June 23, 2007

I choose to...........................

The love story of one of the very closest friend of mine...



Sounds amazing as we say - but usually this would happen in common - got to to read this guys - somewhat interesting..

Girls, on this story you can pick up more lessons than guys - and guys please read thru - you might reflect something which can make us realize how girls feel.



“Weird! didn’t that hurt?”

“How could he! so heartless!!!

“Don’t worry, you’ll be okay honey! it’s his lost..( mga kaibigan ko pa trying to make me feel better)” the impression most of my friends gave me when I merrily texted about being invited to host my EX-BOYFRIEND’s wedding!!! (as in kasalan na talaga…)

Yes, you read that one right… my ex-boyfriend asked me to host his wedding and I’m happy about it! with the purest sincerity!! (pero alam niyo mga peepzz masakit pa rin kahit papaano) I always get my share of skepticism from friends and peers. Three years and two months after we broke up, he is to tie knots with this girlfriend for 11 months. I never felt the fangs of grievances instead I was happy with all my heart. After all that had happened at least we remained friends, he and his wife.

But anyway – let me narrate to you the twist of our lovestory before ----

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Looking back, we had a challenging relationship founded on friendship and love. We wrote letters for each other for more than 2 years before w decided to commit to a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship and fighting over the distance of Gensan-Cotabato then Gensan-Cebu (long distance realationship parang telephone companies). For six months we coped by writing each other. We found each other, our heart of heart of confidante.

After the bad dreams beckoned before me, I never believed my feeling that our love story was about to end. From the beginning, we showed to each other the honesty that our relationship deserved. I would even gladly appreciate it if he would initiate the break up to remark my love story unique (oww – this really hurts.. ang sakit na talaga!!)

Sadly, he chose to keep things furtive (bad siya talaga – pero love ko pa rin siya – di ko kayang itago.. huhuhu..). It even took my sister’s naughtiness to reveal his betrayal… Worst it was his sister who confirmed about the third party…. the so called NEW girlfriend of him (nagkampihan pa ang dalawa.. wala na talaga akong laban.. hahayzz). That hurted me twice than it could have been just fine if he said it straight to me.. (ok sana kung dalawa ung puso koh.. kaso isa lang… bad ka… bad ka.. bad ka..).

I fainted as in hinimatay talaga ako that day. I made up my mind and decided to formally end up our relationship (sayang man pero – it would be better for the two of us). My health status even vague for a while added by the lovesome ambience of the clinic with the nurse singing “I let you go… I let you fly, why do I keep on asking why… I let you go… Now that I find away to keep somehow… more than a broken vow…” (waaaaaaaahhh… maloloka na talaga akoh… pati environment sinasakyan ung heartaches koh… )

I mourned for the 3 nights prior to that. I never shed a teardrop after.. (tigasin ako di ba.. pero deep inside it’s bleeding too much).. only after wishing things were on the other side of the globe but I founded that he made me stronger by breaking my heart (di ba nga sabi nila – you will get stronger every time you rise right after you fall).

I chose to be mature and wished the couple of best lucks. I chose to heal myself. I diverted most of my attention and my time to my course, my extracurricular activities and my barkada (masakit pa man din pero at least naghilom na ng unti-unti)

For a year and half, I didn’t open my heart to love’s invitation which may come. I’m not yet prepared for another heartache. I felt I couldn’t afford risking my heart for another exploitation. I give my heart a wide berth from all suitors who are all possible heartbreakers. It’s a choice… nothing more to explain.

After two years, my ex BF and I renewed our friendship, forgive the past and treasure our friendship (buti na lang nakayanan ko pa sa kabila ng mga ginawa niya sa akin noon). He admitted his faults and mentioned that he already took a bite of his share of KARMA (ano pa ba – ehh.. nasa huli naman talaga ung pagsisi ehh..). His new girlfriend and I became friends too.. (ohhh.. kaya niyo ba tong ginagawa koh…). She’s really great as the hold no reservations though she know everything about the past.

On an instance – one friend asked me.. if ever, chances would have been one of the “IF’s”… “bibigyan mo ba siya ng chance” and I just replied with her with a toned song with quoted lyrics “ I remember the boy, but I don’t remember the feeling anymore”, and yes.. I guess that will be how it will.

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And that how our lovestory ends – sad man pero at least friends pa rin ung turingan naming.

Back to the wedding… I was unfortunate to make it hindi dahil sa hindi ko kaya makita ung dalawa kundi dahil work na kasi ung ate narrator niyo. Kaya send na lang ako ng regards sa newly wed couple ( Mabuhay ang bagong kasal… toinks.. baduy noon.. siyempre po.. formal po ung reagards ko kahit papaano).

I don’t know what exactly happened to me. Somehow I find my way of appreciating trials, pains, heartaches to something positive kung baga – “making success out of failure”.

“Or am I only shielding myself by hiding the rotten truth over cheerful façade!! “
Have I been really that brave?
Was I truly happy?
My minds drifting to more questions… didn’t I ever wished it was something favorable to me??

Yet, as I examine my thoughts, I know by heart I did the right thing.

Sometimes in our lives, we fail to think for the impact of our decisions. As our culture dictates, we put or trust to our ever cliché line.. “BAHALA NA”.

I grew up imperfectly but my upbringing accelerates the richness in etiquette and manners handed down on me..

2 comments:

manika said...

waaah...
ayokong mangyari yan sa akin...

pero, habang nagre-regards ka sa kanila, magre-regards rin ako sa iyo...

hoping you'll find your one true love who'll give you everything you want, and that one whom you'd want to give everything.

[san galing yun?!]
yun na yun. binasa ko pa talga yang madrama mong post, a? haha.

[wala lang. sinabi ko lang.]

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