::: Love Letter :::

A tribute for us fellow Filipinos - this one of the award winning piece in UP Creative writing. Nice thoughts and ideas as well as the story itself, so many lessons to ponder on and most of all it's kind of romantic...

Enjoy reading guys:

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Its been 4 months since i saw him and talagang namimiss ko na siya...
pero what can i do? it seems that i have loved the wrong person....
but still the pain keeps on hurting me and kung walang magbibigay ng gamot para dito sa nararamdaman ko.... baka mamatay na ako....

to give you a background about my life, everthing seems to be fine
except dun sa time na dumating na sa buhay ko yung hinayupak na
lalake na yon.... hehehehe....
kung curious kayo about dun sa guy...
bestfriend ko po yon kaso lang iba na ang nangyari as time passes
by.....

classmate ko sya nung highschool. pards pa nga ang tawagan namen....
o db ang sweet? di na ako iba sa kanya and ganon na ren sya sa
aken....
kung di nga lang ako naging babae baka naiuwi na ako nun sa bahay
nila and baka lahat ng gawaing pang brusko eh ipagawa na nun sa ken eh.....
pero cyempre mukha pa ren naman akong babae noh!!

highskul cyempre may pr om.... wala cyang date, wla ren ako.... i know that he wanted to invite me to be his date pero ang ogag nga kasi nun kaya the last minute tsaka lang sya nag-ask. he went to our house...
nakamotor po sya and medyo pawisan pero infairness....
mabango pa ren....
he ask my permission to see my dress for the prom....
cyempre para maloka sya sa aken at may konting surprise...
i refuse....
o sige, medyo nafrustrate sya pero hindi yon naging hadlang para
invite nya ko....
sa ganda ko na to.....
cyempre ang dami munang pa-echeng....
hanggang sa tanungin nya ako kung may date na ba me....
e kung di ba naman siya abnormal eh....
papayag ba akong makipagdate sa iba eh sya lang ang gusto ko....
lam mo yon...
sarap sampalin.... so in short, papilit pa ba ako?
syempre.....
the night of my life came, i was so pretty sabi ng nang-uuto kong
nanay...
pero naniwala lang ako nang sya na ang nagsabi....
blush ako ever....
kahit alam kong maganda ako since birth(hehehehe) iba pa ren yung sa kanya galing diba?

we enjoyed that night and lalo ko lang napatunayan sa sarili ko na
mahal ko na pala ang hinayupak na bestfrend ko......

syempre ano pa ba ang sunod na event sa prom kundi ang graduation na db?
the night before the graduation, we talked on the phone na para bang it would be the last time na maririnig namen ang boses ng isat-isa.....
ive waited for the moment na mabanggit nya na may feelings din sya
and hindi naman ako nagkamali....
tinanong nya akokung may possibilty daw na maging kame....
i know na maiinis kayo sa ken dahil alam nyo ba ang sagot ko?

ah, eh....
hindi pwede kase bestfrends tayo eh....
yung mga anak na lang
naten yung ipag-partner naten....

sa isip-isip ko....
ang tanga!
pano ko nasabi ang ganong words? pero wala na akong magagawa.....
alam namang bawiin ko pa eh di nahuli naman ako db? pe ro ang tanga
ko talga....


cyempre college na....
im so proud to say na napunta naman ako sa magandang school and take note...
pareho kame ng skul.....
ano to? kailangan bang ituloy ang naudlot na pagmamahalan namen?....
hehehe....

nagkaboyfriend ako for a year and a half....
minahal ko sya pero there are these conflicts and problems na di na
kayang ayusin....

in short.... nagbreak kame.....

i guess god meant that to happen kasi yon din yung time na nagkita
kame ng bestfrend ko.....
sa sobrang miss namen ang isa't-isa....
sabay na kameng umuwi, kumain, pumasok.....
im happy pero parang lalo ko lang pinahirapan ang sarili ko dahil my feelings for that guy grows each and everytime that
we are together...
buti na lang magaling akong magtago at magpigil....
hehehe....bilib kayo noh?.....

one morning, im so busy preparing my project that would be passed on that same day....
alam kong dumati ng na sya at nasa likuran ko na ang mokong
pero dahil sobrang pressure sa project....
gusto ko man syang dambahan...
cyempre mamayang gabi na lang di ba? hehehe....
di ko sya masyadong napansin.....

may inabot syang sulat sa aken and he asked if i could join him sa
lunch....
i said yes....
then, alis na cya....
alam naman kc nyang im busy.....

when i was about to enter the room, somebody bumped me and my precious project fell...
gusto ko mang magalet... what can i do db?
instead i asked my prof to give me another chance to do my
project....
naalala ko si mokong.... the lunch date....

kinuha ko ang cell ko to text him that i cant come to our meeting....
e kaso.... pag tinamaan k nga naman ng malas.... check operator
service daw....
i tried to look for friends or other kakilala pero malas that day
talaga....
and so i took my lunch all by my self....

naalala ko yung letter....
hinanap ko sa bag... WALA !!!!
bumalik me sa corridor praying na andon pa yung sulat.... wala ren....

god! why? minsan lang magbigay ng sulat yon.... nawala pa.... dont
know how to tell him about the letter....

and so days and weeks passed, pag nagkikita kame...
di nya ako pinapansin...
ako, i tried to talk to him pero alam kong may kasalanan ako
pero ganon ba kalaki ang nagawa kong di pagpunta at ganon na lang ang i was nya?... sige... hinayaan ko na lang....

months na ang binilang...
i heard that he was dating a girl from the same school that we are
in... masakit.... na sa iba ko pa narinig na sila na....
mas masakit na wala na akong halaga sa kanya.....

basta...
ilang araw din yon na ganon ang nararamdaman ko.... weeks....
months....


gagraduate na po ako.... i wonder what's instore for me in my last
day in school....

and so i thought na puntahan yung favorite hang out namen....
when i was about to get near the place.... i saw him... with the
girl....
umiiyak ang bruha but i cant hear what they are talking about....

so ive decided to get out of that place before my tears burst out....
and then a common frend ang sumalubong sa aken....
saying na buntis ang girl....
syempre.... durog na durog ang puso ko....
kung kaya nyo lang ma-imagine yung naramdaman ko.....

the night of that same day.... naloka ang lola nyo....
nagparamdam ang mokong pagkaraan ng pagkatagal-tagal na panahon...
i thought it was something good for me... for us.... pero i was
wrong....
so wrong.....

he gave me a wedding invitation and isa ako sa bridesmaids.....
the girl... she was waiting in the car....
o db? dati motor lang ngaun... car na....

and so the wedding came....
maganda po ako nun.... sabi ng nanay ko pero wala ng nagsecond the
motion eh.... so naniwala na lang ako sa nanay ko....

then, there was this professor who came to see me....
he handed over a letter with my name carefully printed on the
enveloped....
he said that he looked for the owner of that letter kaso lang po
malaki po ang skul namin kaya mahirap magkahanapan db? and so nung nakita nya ang name ko sa invitation, he decided to bring the letter thinking that it could save souls... daw....

and so i was about to open the letter when the priest ask kung sino daw ang tututol...
dedma ako....
alangan namang manggulo pa ko noh....

binasa ko na ang letter.....

nakakatouch po talaga....

he opened up his feelings for me....

hoping na meron din daw akong feelings for him....
he ask that if i will show up to our hang- out the next day after he gave his letter, then it means that i also have feelings for him and that he
would love me for the rest of our lives....
but if i wont.... then he will never open that topic again....

he pleaded to me na sana pumunta ako... ...

if only i have that letter....
if only i knew about it....
kung di lang ako clumsy and careless to keep that letter...
things would be different....
if only.....

and so i heard the priest announced the couple as husband and wife....
ang sakit......

picture taking.....
gusto mang sumabog ng nararamdaman ko....
as you know....
magaling akong magpigil....
pero masakit po talaga.... sobra......

after the picture taking......

niyakap ako ng bestfrend ko....

ang higpit.... and teary eyed nyang cnabi na.........

i still love you.......