She's everything I need!!!

It's been 3 years since I know her virtually. Yes, we are friends, getting to know each other until such time my feelings slowly developed until I was totally in love with her.

I was an anti-LDR ever since and mostly criticizing one when comes to this kind of relationship due to reality that most of em didn't work and a waste of time. This girl proved me wrong.She was "maldita" in all honesty but there's something that I loved her the most.We exchanged texts, we called each other, IM and etc in short, technology helped us succeeded everything. There was a time we almost spent 13 hours on phone (imagine the duration) but I do really love it.

She was so special to me, everyday my love for her grows, she was everything in my life, she didn't stop me inspiring in  all things.

The only problem is I was committed to someone else more than 3 years - and I didn't have a courage to tell her that I have fallen to someone else until such time I was totally committed without backout. I was afraid I would waste the more than 3 years without even knowing that the 3 years I left was all what I need. I want to be on her side always, I want her to be the first I see in the very morning, the very last face I wanted to see before falling asleep but it seems I would love for the rest of my life in my dreams. I was so obsessed that one day we should be together. I know this was crazy but you will feel the same if you are in my shoe.

Here I am - facing the reality now! pretending to be happy but stilldon't want to move on and continue to love her even if I know in the future she will finally have one that would love her the most not like I was.

I hate writing this on a teary eyed perhaps mao na jud siguro ni akong kapalaran..

Lessons learned?? unya na kay pwerti pang sakita..

I choose to...........................

The love story of one of the very closest friend of mine...



Sounds amazing as we say - but usually this would happen in common - got to to read this guys - somewhat interesting..

Girls, on this story you can pick up more lessons than guys - and guys please read thru - you might reflect something which can make us realize how girls feel.

“Weird! didn’t that hurt?”

“How could he! so heartless!!!

“Don’t worry, you’ll be okay honey! it’s his lost..( mga kaibigan ko pa trying to make me feel better)” the impression most of my friends gave me when I merrily texted about being invited to host my EX-BOYFRIEND’s wedding!!! (as in kasalan na talaga…)

Yes, you read that one right… my ex-boyfriend asked me to host his wedding and I’m happy about it! with the purest sincerity!! (pero alam niyo mga peepzz masakit pa rin kahit papaano) I always get my share of skepticism from friends and peers. Three years and two months after we broke up, he is to tie knots with this girlfriend for 11 months. I never felt the fangs of grievances instead I was happy with all my heart. After all that had happened at least we remained friends, he and his wife.

But anyway – let me narrate to you the twist of our lovestory before ----

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Looking back, we had a challenging relationship founded on friendship and love. We wrote letters for each other for more than 2 years before w decided to commit to a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship and fighting over the distance of Gensan-Cotabato then Gensan-Cebu (long distance realationship parang telephone companies). For six months we coped by writing each other. We found each other, our heart of heart of confidante.

After the bad dreams beckoned before me, I never believed my feeling that our love story was about to end. From the beginning, we showed to each other the honesty that our relationship deserved. I would even gladly appreciate it if he would initiate the break up to remark my love story unique (oww – this really hurts.. ang sakit na talaga!!)

Sadly, he chose to keep things furtive (bad siya talaga – pero love ko pa rin siya – di ko kayang itago.. huhuhu..). It even took my sister’s naughtiness to reveal his betrayal… Worst it was his sister who confirmed about the third party…. the so called NEW girlfriend of him (nagkampihan pa ang dalawa.. wala na talaga akong laban.. hahayzz). That hurted me twice than it could have been just fine if he said it straight to me.. (ok sana kung dalawa ung puso koh.. kaso isa lang… bad ka… bad ka.. bad ka..).

I fainted as in hinimatay talaga ako that day. I made up my mind and decided to formally end up our relationship (sayang man pero – it would be better for the two of us). My health status even vague for a while added by the lovesome ambience of the clinic with the nurse singing “I let you go… I let you fly, why do I keep on asking why… I let you go… Now that I find away to keep somehow… more than a broken vow…” (waaaaaaaahhh… maloloka na talaga akoh… pati environment sinasakyan ung heartaches koh… )

I mourned for the 3 nights prior to that. I never shed a teardrop after.. (tigasin ako di ba.. pero deep inside it’s bleeding too much).. only after wishing things were on the other side of the globe but I founded that he made me stronger by breaking my heart (di ba nga sabi nila – you will get stronger every time you rise right after you fall).

I chose to be mature and wished the couple of best lucks. I chose to heal myself. I diverted most of my attention and my time to my course, my extracurricular activities and my barkada (masakit pa man din pero at least naghilom na ng unti-unti)

For a year and half, I didn’t open my heart to love’s invitation which may come. I’m not yet prepared for another heartache. I felt I couldn’t afford risking my heart for another exploitation. I give my heart a wide berth from all suitors who are all possible heartbreakers. It’s a choice… nothing more to explain.

After two years, my ex BF and I renewed our friendship, forgive the past and treasure our friendship (buti na lang nakayanan ko pa sa kabila ng mga ginawa niya sa akin noon). He admitted his faults and mentioned that he already took a bite of his share of KARMA (ano pa ba – ehh.. nasa huli naman talaga ung pagsisi ehh..). His new girlfriend and I became friends too.. (ohhh.. kaya niyo ba tong ginagawa koh…). She’s really great as the hold no reservations though she know everything about the past.

On an instance – one friend asked me.. if ever, chances would have been one of the “IF’s”… “bibigyan mo ba siya ng chance” and I just replied with her with a toned song with quoted lyrics “ I remember the boy, but I don’t remember the feeling anymore”, and yes.. I guess that will be how it will.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And that how our lovestory ends – sad man pero at least friends pa rin ung turingan naming.

Back to the wedding… I was unfortunate to make it hindi dahil sa hindi ko kaya makita ung dalawa kundi dahil work na kasi ung ate narrator niyo. Kaya send na lang ako ng regards sa newly wed couple ( Mabuhay ang bagong kasal… toinks.. baduy noon.. siyempre po.. formal po ung reagards ko kahit papaano).

I don’t know what exactly happened to me. Somehow I find my way of appreciating trials, pains, heartaches to something positive kung baga – “making success out of failure”.

“Or am I only shielding myself by hiding the rotten truth over cheerful façade!! “
Have I been really that brave?
Was I truly happy?
My minds drifting to more questions… didn’t I ever wished it was something favorable to me??

Yet, as I examine my thoughts, I know by heart I did the right thing.

Sometimes in our lives, we fail to think for the impact of our decisions. As our culture dictates, we put or trust to our ever cliché line.. “BAHALA NA”.

I grew up imperfectly but my upbringing accelerates the richness in etiquette and manners handed down on me..

New Mini Petrol Engine

By JOHN SCOTT

SCIENTISTS have built the smallest petrol engine — tiny enough to power a WATCH.

The mini-motor, which runs for two years on a single squirt of lighter fuel, is set to revolutionise world technology.

It produces 700 times more energy than a conventional battery despite being less than a centimetre long — not even half an inch. It could be used to operate laptops and mobile phones for months on end — doing away with the need for recharging.

Experts believe it could be phasing out batteries in such items within just six years.

The engine, minute enough to be balanced on a fingertip, has been produced by engineers at the University of Birmingham. Dr Kyle Jiang, lead investigator from the Department of Mechanical Engineering, said: “We are looking at an industrial revolution happening in peoples’ pockets.

“The breakthrough is an enormous step forward.

“Devices which need re- charging or new batteries are a problem but in six years will be a thing of the past.”

Other applications for the engine could include medical and military uses, such as running heart pacemakers or mini reconnaissance robots.
At present, charging an ordinary battery to deliver one unit of energy involves putting 2,000 units into it.

The little engine, because energy is produced locally, is far more effective.

One of the main problems faced by engineers who have tried to produce micro motors in the past has been the levels of heat produced.

The engines got so hot they burned themselves out and could not be re-used.

The Birmingham team overcame this by using heat-resistant materials such as ceramic and silicon carbide.

Professor Graham Davies, head of the university’s engineering school, said: “We’ve brought together all the engineering disciplines, both materials, chemical engineering, civil engineering, and mechanical engineering.

“What better place to have the second industrial revolution — in nano-technology — than where the first took place, in the heart of the West Midlands.”

The True Nature of Visayans

BISAYA KA'NG DAKO KON...

1. You feel insulted when a non-Bisdak ridicules someone by saying "Bisaya", but it's okay if another Bisdak uses it to another Bisdak, as in "ah, Bisayaa sab oy!"

2. You feel proud when Matud Nila is sung and you sing along with it bisan dili nimo memorize.

3. Hibal-an nimo kung unsa ang “habal-habal” bisan wala pa ka kasakay niani.

4. Common usages kung ga-tinagalog: the use of "kuwan" as interjection, ang superlative nga pirmi gamiton mao ang "masyado", i.e., maingay masyado, sobra masyado, bilisan mo masyado (read: paspasi lagi) adunay tendency nga pulihan lang ang "o" or "a" og "i", i.e., ang atop into atip, ang kan-on> into kan-in, ang sud-an into sud)

5. You know what "itlog mo 'noy orange" means.

6. You know that the karaang "bayle" aron mahimong modern gipulihan na og "disco" (discoral).

7. Aduna kay hibaw-an nga at least usa ka kanta ni Yoyoy Villame or Max Surban bisan sa tono lang.

8. You can use varied terms of endearment for friends and relatives like bay, parts, paparts, migo, parekoy, pareng, choy, higala, kid, gaw, gaweks, manoy, nong, inse, ditse, iyo, iya, palangga, pangga, gang.

9. You call someone "Inday" and/or "Dodong" as a term of affection and hate it when other non-Bisdaks use the term as if its a title given for a househelp.

10. You know what "maninghag" is?

11. You know Vino Kulafu and Fighter Wine...sometimes you even know their jingles!

12. Instead of Stork, you chose Snowbear or you buy Timbura when you mean Corniks.

13. You're familiar with the brand Loalde in clothing.

14. You crave for inun-unan, paklay, ginamay, halang-halang, kinilaw, ginamos, buwad, binignit,, sikwate paresan sa puto maya.

15. Esteban Escudero and Golyat are folk heroes.

16. “Handumanan sa Usa Ka Awit” is closer to your heart than “Maalaala Mo Kaya” TV show.

17. At ...pag-nagulat-nabigla ang mga Bisdak ang biglang sigaw ay "ay bilat" o kaya "ay otin sa kabayo"

18. SUTUKIL is as common as TAPSILOG; in fact you know that SUTUKIL came first.

19. Your common pulutan for tuba drinking is "TARGET" - asin nga targeton lang nimo sa imong tudlo.

20. You have at least once in your lifetime experienced "Ang Mysterio sa Paglawig sa Barko Padulong Manila", a phenomenon that when the boat is approaching Manila, everybody around you suddenly becomes Tagalog speaking nga adtong miaging adlaw lang pwerting Bisaya pa ninyo!

21. You whisper Bisaya to a fellow Bisdak in the midst of a Tagalog crowd ...and he replies loudly to you in Tagalog!

22. The first question you ask when you found out that someone is Bisdak, "taga-asa man diay ka?"

23. You usually use the warning phrase “Hala Ka”!

24. You know the meaning and proper usages of the following (irreverent) words/phrases: pesteng yawa, usapa na, pastilan, lat-inanag, butalo, way kurat, hastang, puslan man, buing, kuwangol, libod-suroy, ligas-paka, way kuha, ka-ubo, kolera, burikat, duha singko, balang, palag, wa ka kyapi?, ok pas olrayt, haybol, ang pahak!, jer-jer, way blema, pagarpar, giro, kalandrakas, ambot sa langaw pilay idad sa ok-ok, bugnawg simod, bagdok, gi-atay!, gi-ahak, gibangkong, tibak (tiguwang bakla), NPA (nawong puros agtang), tira pasagad, basin diay pilay pad sa ungoy, banat kay awaaw, mat-an pas pinya, ngitngit pas alkitran, tak-om pas tuway, malalim mo na!, sus!

25. Sigurado ko nga naa pa kay ikadugang ani: miembro ka sa GKK no? “gagmayng ki-at ki-at”, LKK (Looy Kaayo Ka), UGG (Ulipon Sa Gugmang Giatay), bayntchenge (.25), sewewen (.50), wesiwesi (P1), eskina lang noy, pamokong, bahala na'g ligsan basta in-shirt, ug ering-ering DUHA! Sa mga lugar, kahibalo ka asa ang Larsian, Bukid, Boulevard, Sammy’s, ka Monette, kandingan, Sutukil, Duawon, original Ngo Hiong (kadtong orange nga plato nga puwerting ka mantikaon).

Be proud that you are a BISDAK!!!

::: Love Letter :::

A tribute for us fellow Filipinos - this one of the award winning piece in UP Creative writing. Nice thoughts and ideas as well as the story itself, so many lessons to ponder on and most of all it's kind of romantic...

Enjoy reading guys:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Its been 4 months since i saw him and talagang namimiss ko na siya...
pero what can i do? it seems that i have loved the wrong person....
but still the pain keeps on hurting me and kung walang magbibigay ng gamot para dito sa nararamdaman ko.... baka mamatay na ako....

to give you a background about my life, everthing seems to be fine
except dun sa time na dumating na sa buhay ko yung hinayupak na
lalake na yon.... hehehehe....
kung curious kayo about dun sa guy...
bestfriend ko po yon kaso lang iba na ang nangyari as time passes
by.....

classmate ko sya nung highschool. pards pa nga ang tawagan namen....
o db ang sweet? di na ako iba sa kanya and ganon na ren sya sa
aken....
kung di nga lang ako naging babae baka naiuwi na ako nun sa bahay
nila and baka lahat ng gawaing pang brusko eh ipagawa na nun sa ken eh.....
pero cyempre mukha pa ren naman akong babae noh!!

highskul cyempre may pr om.... wala cyang date, wla ren ako.... i know that he wanted to invite me to be his date pero ang ogag nga kasi nun kaya the last minute tsaka lang sya nag-ask. he went to our house...
nakamotor po sya and medyo pawisan pero infairness....
mabango pa ren....
he ask my permission to see my dress for the prom....
cyempre para maloka sya sa aken at may konting surprise...
i refuse....
o sige, medyo nafrustrate sya pero hindi yon naging hadlang para
invite nya ko....
sa ganda ko na to.....
cyempre ang dami munang pa-echeng....
hanggang sa tanungin nya ako kung may date na ba me....
e kung di ba naman siya abnormal eh....
papayag ba akong makipagdate sa iba eh sya lang ang gusto ko....
lam mo yon...
sarap sampalin.... so in short, papilit pa ba ako?
syempre.....
the night of my life came, i was so pretty sabi ng nang-uuto kong
nanay...
pero naniwala lang ako nang sya na ang nagsabi....
blush ako ever....
kahit alam kong maganda ako since birth(hehehehe) iba pa ren yung sa kanya galing diba?

we enjoyed that night and lalo ko lang napatunayan sa sarili ko na
mahal ko na pala ang hinayupak na bestfrend ko......

syempre ano pa ba ang sunod na event sa prom kundi ang graduation na db?
the night before the graduation, we talked on the phone na para bang it would be the last time na maririnig namen ang boses ng isat-isa.....
ive waited for the moment na mabanggit nya na may feelings din sya
and hindi naman ako nagkamali....
tinanong nya akokung may possibilty daw na maging kame....
i know na maiinis kayo sa ken dahil alam nyo ba ang sagot ko?

ah, eh....
hindi pwede kase bestfrends tayo eh....
yung mga anak na lang
naten yung ipag-partner naten....

sa isip-isip ko....
ang tanga!
pano ko nasabi ang ganong words? pero wala na akong magagawa.....
alam namang bawiin ko pa eh di nahuli naman ako db? pe ro ang tanga
ko talga....


cyempre college na....
im so proud to say na napunta naman ako sa magandang school and take note...
pareho kame ng skul.....
ano to? kailangan bang ituloy ang naudlot na pagmamahalan namen?....
hehehe....

nagkaboyfriend ako for a year and a half....
minahal ko sya pero there are these conflicts and problems na di na
kayang ayusin....

in short.... nagbreak kame.....

i guess god meant that to happen kasi yon din yung time na nagkita
kame ng bestfrend ko.....
sa sobrang miss namen ang isa't-isa....
sabay na kameng umuwi, kumain, pumasok.....
im happy pero parang lalo ko lang pinahirapan ang sarili ko dahil my feelings for that guy grows each and everytime that
we are together...
buti na lang magaling akong magtago at magpigil....
hehehe....bilib kayo noh?.....

one morning, im so busy preparing my project that would be passed on that same day....
alam kong dumati ng na sya at nasa likuran ko na ang mokong
pero dahil sobrang pressure sa project....
gusto ko man syang dambahan...
cyempre mamayang gabi na lang di ba? hehehe....
di ko sya masyadong napansin.....

may inabot syang sulat sa aken and he asked if i could join him sa
lunch....
i said yes....
then, alis na cya....
alam naman kc nyang im busy.....

when i was about to enter the room, somebody bumped me and my precious project fell...
gusto ko mang magalet... what can i do db?
instead i asked my prof to give me another chance to do my
project....
naalala ko si mokong.... the lunch date....

kinuha ko ang cell ko to text him that i cant come to our meeting....
e kaso.... pag tinamaan k nga naman ng malas.... check operator
service daw....
i tried to look for friends or other kakilala pero malas that day
talaga....
and so i took my lunch all by my self....

naalala ko yung letter....
hinanap ko sa bag... WALA !!!!
bumalik me sa corridor praying na andon pa yung sulat.... wala ren....

god! why? minsan lang magbigay ng sulat yon.... nawala pa.... dont
know how to tell him about the letter....

and so days and weeks passed, pag nagkikita kame...
di nya ako pinapansin...
ako, i tried to talk to him pero alam kong may kasalanan ako
pero ganon ba kalaki ang nagawa kong di pagpunta at ganon na lang ang i was nya?... sige... hinayaan ko na lang....

months na ang binilang...
i heard that he was dating a girl from the same school that we are
in... masakit.... na sa iba ko pa narinig na sila na....
mas masakit na wala na akong halaga sa kanya.....

basta...
ilang araw din yon na ganon ang nararamdaman ko.... weeks....
months....


gagraduate na po ako.... i wonder what's instore for me in my last
day in school....

and so i thought na puntahan yung favorite hang out namen....
when i was about to get near the place.... i saw him... with the
girl....
umiiyak ang bruha but i cant hear what they are talking about....

so ive decided to get out of that place before my tears burst out....
and then a common frend ang sumalubong sa aken....
saying na buntis ang girl....
syempre.... durog na durog ang puso ko....
kung kaya nyo lang ma-imagine yung naramdaman ko.....

the night of that same day.... naloka ang lola nyo....
nagparamdam ang mokong pagkaraan ng pagkatagal-tagal na panahon...
i thought it was something good for me... for us.... pero i was
wrong....
so wrong.....

he gave me a wedding invitation and isa ako sa bridesmaids.....
the girl... she was waiting in the car....
o db? dati motor lang ngaun... car na....

and so the wedding came....
maganda po ako nun.... sabi ng nanay ko pero wala ng nagsecond the
motion eh.... so naniwala na lang ako sa nanay ko....

then, there was this professor who came to see me....
he handed over a letter with my name carefully printed on the
enveloped....
he said that he looked for the owner of that letter kaso lang po
malaki po ang skul namin kaya mahirap magkahanapan db? and so nung nakita nya ang name ko sa invitation, he decided to bring the letter thinking that it could save souls... daw....

and so i was about to open the letter when the priest ask kung sino daw ang tututol...
dedma ako....
alangan namang manggulo pa ko noh....

binasa ko na ang letter.....

nakakatouch po talaga....

he opened up his feelings for me....

hoping na meron din daw akong feelings for him....
he ask that if i will show up to our hang- out the next day after he gave his letter, then it means that i also have feelings for him and that he
would love me for the rest of our lives....
but if i wont.... then he will never open that topic again....

he pleaded to me na sana pumunta ako... ...

if only i have that letter....
if only i knew about it....
kung di lang ako clumsy and careless to keep that letter...
things would be different....
if only.....

and so i heard the priest announced the couple as husband and wife....
ang sakit......

picture taking.....
gusto mang sumabog ng nararamdaman ko....
as you know....
magaling akong magpigil....
pero masakit po talaga.... sobra......

after the picture taking......

niyakap ako ng bestfrend ko....

ang higpit.... and teary eyed nyang cnabi na.........

i still love you.......

Send my Love to Heaven

Same as soap opera you may wonder how the story ends. I'm having a short story but seems to be having complete twist.

Please read thru:

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What can I say about a girl I loved since I was ten..... that I love the way she laughs at me when I commit mistakes, the way she fusses over silly things and even the way she cries over some sad silly late night show? Somehow, I wished I could have told her that I love her but now there's no hope in doing so. For now, it's rather too late- too late for me to do so.

She was my best friend and I have known her since we were small. She knew all my secrets, which reveals my feelings for her, that I love her not only because she's pretty and smart but also the way she laughs at everything and the way she sees life and love.

I could still remember the first time we met, I was five years old then. It was one windy afternoon having no one to play with except for my best friend, Troy. He and his family just moved out to transfer at a neighboring state because his father got promoted. And so I climbed up our tree house, I saw a moving truck coming down the street. I watched it approaching and noticed a family station wagon following it. It stopped in front of the house and out came a family. I was about to glance away when out came the loveliest girl I've seen. She was four years old that time but then even at an early age she was a beauty. She had long curly hair, which reached almost to her waist. She had fair complexion and eyes which could make a man lose his heart into them. I continued to watch her when suddenly she looked up and saw me watching them in the tree house window. I was about to duck when she smiled and waved her hand. I waved back then watched in amazement as I saw her running towards the tree house. So I went to the edge of the ladder and said, "Would you like to come up?" she answered, "May I?" So I help her climb up and when she reached the top she then turned to me and said, "By the way, my name's Sam, what's yours?" I answered, " My name is Christopher but then you can call me Chris." She smiled and said, " Well i like your name. Hey your tree house's neat!" then I replied, " Thanks! troy and I made this. this used to be our hide out. We used to goof around, play ball and go biking together. He was my best friend and I kind of miss him you know." She smiled and said "I'm here now, we could do things you do with troy and I could be your new best friend too. i never had a boy for a friend before so it could be exciting to have one. I could learn how to play ball and I have my bicycle so we could go biking together. Now how does that sound to you?" I smiled and said, "Well that sounds good enough." Then she held her hand and said, "It's a deal then!" So that's how it started.


So we became best friends and it was kind of strange at first for she was a girl and there are things which I was little bit hesitant to indulge her like catching frogs, swimming in the lake and climbing trees, but then she tried and did everything just to please me. There was even a time when she fell off the bike trying to catch up with me in a race we had and I was the one who bandaged her scraped knee. I could still remember the time when she hit the window of our neighbor when we were playing baseball and it was i who talked to Mr. Chambers and promised to pay for the damage, which meant having to loose a weeks's allowance. I remembered the time when I fell off the tree when I tried to rescue a little kitten because Sam was near to tears when she saw the helpless kitten trapped in a branch. I even fought with the tough guy when they teased Sam and made her cry and I ended up having a black eye and a bruised cheek. I remember Sam crying as she placed an ice bag over the damaged eye and later gave it a get-well kiss. I did everything to please her and gave everything her little heart desires.


The lake was our favorite hang out. We had our Saturday swim routine. We would pack food and later eat them under the big oak tree. There was a special branch in which the two of us could sit together and tell each other's dreams. She dreams of being a Ballerina and she knows my dream of becoming a doctor. She never laughs at my dreams and pursuits even if they were quite impossible. it made me like her even more.


As years went by, I noticed that my feelings towards her were slowly changing. Somehow, I thought it was just a simple crush case. But when I started thinking about her at night, dreaming of her and having the feeling of wanting to be with her all the time, I thought it was something different, something that made me feel strange, but then it was exhilarating feeling. It made me feel so alive. Whenever our hands touch, I could feel the tingling sensation in my spine. Once > when we were at the lake having our Saturday swim routine and as I carried her towards the water edge, I had the feeling of not wanting to let go. I just wanted that moment to continue hoping it would never end. I then realized I was slowly falling in love with my best friend.


Many times I tried to deny the feeling for I was scared to imagine what would happen if ever I'd try to tell her how I feel about her. I was scared because she might think that I'm taking advantage of her and our friendship. I was afraid of losing her so I just kept my feeling hidden.


We reached the age of fifteen and I noticed that Sam grew lovelier each day. How my heart aches wherever I see boys glance her way. I want to punch their noses as I watch them talking to her giving compliments, flowers and chocolates. There were times when I watch her at a distance mixed feelings of anger and hurt because it hurts so much to know that there were so many things I wanted to tell her but then I could not do so. There were so many presents which I long to give her but then I could not for she might see me only as a friend. I was also scared of letting her know how I feel about her as much as losing her.


Then one day, I just learned from a friend that she already had a boyfriend. At first, I tried to convince myself that it was just a rumor. Her boyfriend was Mark, a popular senior, who was the heartthrob of the campus. She, being the cheerleader was close to the basketball team which Mark was the captain. When I saw them walking together at the parking lot that afternoon, I watched her with my heart slowly breaking into pieces. I saw her wave at me but I just pretended not to see her for I was scared that she might see in my eyes the pain I'm feeling inside because of seeing her with another guy.


Those days that followed where the saddest days of my life. How my heart aches when I see her walk by me with him at her side. every time we meet in hallways and I see him around her, there's a feeling inside me that makes me want to grab her away from him. How it hurts to see the girl I long possess was now owned by somebody else. That special smile I long for her to cast on me was now casted on him as she passes by me she doesnt know that i whispher the words "God how I love you."


Then one faithful day they broke up. She came too me that evening crying on my shoulder. They had a big fight and it ended up to their break up. Mixed feelings were scaring me inside. I was happy because she was free and maybe i would have the chance of telling> her my true feelings for her but then I was feeling so bad because she is crying her heart out just for him. At that time, I was not quite sure of what I wanted to do.


So we found ourselves doing what we did in old days with our saturday swim routine, spending time in our tree house. we still enjoyed doing childish pranks for we still are both young at heart.


So many chances I had for me to confess my feelings for her but still I couldn't bring myself to her for I was scared of losing her once more. I once lost her, now I could not bear of losing her again by telling her I love her. So I just kept my feelings even if it was bursting to be expressed from my aching heart.


It was a week from our JS Prom, we were seated at the branch of an oak tree drying ourselves after our afternoon swim when she said, "I was wondering Chris if you would like to be my partner?" It just got out of my wits for it was like a dream I never thought would happen. It took me awhile to answer her, "I thought there are so many boys who would die for you to be their partner?" So she turned away and quietly said, "Well i just thought I would like to spend that night with my best friend." Then she continued in a whisper I could barely hear, "Don't you want to die just like them to be my partner Chris?" I was too stunned to speak for it came close for me to blurt my feelings for her. We we're silent for a while until I finally whispered, "I would be happy to be your partner Sam." The she smiled and suddenly kissed my cheek. I could hardly contain the joy i felt that time. I saw her turned red and bowed her head. Suddenly she stood up and run towards the water saying, "Last one to reach the water treats to sundae fudge!" I ran slowed up so that i would lose which meant having to have her with me for another three hours or more.


Our Prom night came. I bought a new tuxedo and poured almost the entire bottle of perfume. I went to fetch Sam. Sam's mother greeted me and I went to sit in the living room waiting for her to come down. I was talking to her father when I heard her say, "How do I look?" I look up and saw her lovelier than ever in a strapless white dress with her hair flowing around her face. I stood up and opened my mouth but found out I could not find my voice. Then I got her hand shakily fastened the corsage around her wrist and whispered, "To the loveliest girl in the whole world." She then asked, " Is that true?" I nodded and she smiled and I smiled back then I turned to open the door for her.


When we arrived at the gymnasium we hardly recognized our classmates. Gone were the jeans and T-shirts. They were replaced with tuxedos and gowns. Then I held out her hand bowed and said ," Would you give me the honor of your first dance?" She laughed and curtseyed. Then I led her to the dance floor.


It was like a dream coming true, a moment of enchantment. I was there dancing with the only girl I ever loved. She was smiling up to me, as we were slowly moving in a smooth gliding motion. I found myself lost as I stared down to her sparkling eyes. The curls of her long hair were like waves enhancing her beautiful face. There were so many things I wanted to tell her that moment. I wanted to tell that she was the most beautiful girl that night. I wanted to tell her that she would always be the beacon of light in my darkness, but what I wanted to tell her the most was that I love her. I drew up all my courage and bent to whisper it in her ear but suddenly the music stopped and the magic was gone. I came close to telling her, but still haven't done it.


We walked towards the table and found ourselves surrounded by friends. I asked her if she wanted a drink, she nodded and so I went to get one. It took me a long time to get one and when I returned to ourtable, she was gone. I asked her friend, katie, where she was but she told me that she doesn't know. So I went and search for her.


As I was searching for her, I reached the garden. There I saw two silhoutte figures outlined by the moon's silvery light. They were so close to each other. i could never describe the feeling I had when I recognized the white dress Sam was wearing that night. I just turned and left the gymnasium. Since that night, I avoided her. Many times she tried talking to me but I never gave her the chance to do so. I was afraid to hear her say that she loves Mark and not me. I would rather have left in ignorance of her true feelings for me than to hear from those dreaded words and feel my hope crush and my heart break. I didn't return her calls. I would not see her if she comes into our house. in the hallways, as she approaches i would go to another direction. It also hurts to do those things but then I thought that was the best way to forget her. Those months were tormenting but still I kept my pride.


The day of our graduation came. I was planning to take up medicine at a neighboring state and was to move out the next day. As the program ended, she approached me and handed me a rose. As she stared at me. there was something in her eyes I couldn't describe. There was sadness in them and when she smiled it wasn't the same smile she had. I wanted to hug her at that moment, tell her that I love her but then she turned and walked away from me.


So I moved out the next day as I planned. Luckily, I was accepted at the university. I concentrated with my studies but still I think of her at night. I was always wondering if she thinks of me too. I tried hard not to think of her but still I could not stop myself from loving her. Each achievement I have was done for her. I thought that if I will be successful one day, I would be able to tell her that I love her and by that time, I'm worthy of having her.


It was a year after our graduation when I decided to return home and see her again. I thought a year is too much for me not to see her and during the past year I felt like a person lost in the desert and only the sight of her could quench the thirst I have inside. As I got off the plane, I went home directly, desperate to get to her house desperate to see her, to hug her. Then I would tell her that I missed her and that I have loved her for a long time. This time I am determined to let her know my true feelings for her and I could not contain anymore the love I have for her.


I reached their house, I saw her older sister and I approached her. I smiled at her but I noticed she didn't smile back. I was confused for she used to be a cheerful lasy just like my dear Sam. I then asked," Hi Jen! I guess you're suprised why I'm here. Well I just want to visit you and I was also hoping to see Sam. I kind of miss her you know. Ummm.........bby the way have you seen her?" All I saw was sadness in her eyes as she replied quietly, "Come follow me."


I was confused with the way she's acting but still i followed her. As we were walking, I was trying to indulge her in a conversation but just answered my questiond briefly. Then I realized that she was leading me to the direction of the lake. It was still the same as I left it, with the same oak tree Sam and I used to climb up. I smiled upon remembering the kiss Sam gave me when I agreed to be her partner. It's been one of the happiest days in my life and I realized that I missed Sam more than I thought. The Jen stopped walking and pointed to the tree. She then whispered, "There's Sam."


I looked at where she was pointing and saw a newly dug tomb with the name of the girl I ever loved. I could not believe at what I saw and desperately tried convincing myself that this is all just a nightmare and I would soon wake up.


I stared at Jenny in disbelief with her eyes searching for explanations and slowly started saying," It has been a week since she died. She died of Leukemia, but eventhough she was sick, she never stopped thinking about you. It was even your name she uttered before she died. She asked us to bury her here for she always regard this place as a place of LOVE. She said that this is where she had spent the happiest days and that was when she was with you. by the way, she also asked me to give you this." She handed me a parcel and with that she left.


I slowly opened the parcel and saw that it contained the dried orchid from the corsage I gave her for our prom. Then at the bottom I saw a letter. It was dated last month. I opened it with shaking hands and started reading........



******************************


I know by this time you read this letter I'm gone. I just want to tell you that I feel very lucky and thankful to God that I had a friend like you. I would also like you to know that I had left something inside, something I kept from you all these years. I love you Chris, not in a friendly way but as one who would feel like spending the rest of my life with. I have always loved you even from the start. I guess it just bloomed each day that's why the happiest days of my life was when you were by my side. You just don't know how I dreamed of you at night and wake up in the morning and dream no more for you are with me. When you are away, I can't stop crying because I'm afraid to think that you are with another girl. I just can't bear to see you with another girl. I just want you all to myself. I may sound selfish but that's how I feel. Each time you held me close to you was like a dream coming true for to be close to you and feel your heart beating next to mine was heaven. So many things I did so that you will learn to love me but I NEVER saw a hint. I did everything to please you because I love you so much that I even tried to full myself that you're in love with me too. So many nights I've cried when I think of myself unloved by you. Well you might think that what I'm sayin are lies but, I tell you, my heart speaks the truth for I cannot bear telling a lie to the one I love.


I know you might be thinking of Mark but I just did that to make you jealous, to make you see me as a young woman, capable of loving and not as the little girl you used to play with. Sometimes I imagined that you were jealous and fooled myself that it was a sign that you feel something for me too. When Mark and I broke up and I came crying, I just did that to know how you would react and with that I'll know that you love me too. But I failed for you didn't give me any clue. when our prom night came, you just don't know how happy I was when you handed me the corsage and saying that I was the loveliest girl in the whole world. While we were dancing,I wanted so desperately to hear you say that you love me too but you NEVER did. When Mark came and pleaded me to give him a second chance, I was scared that you might see us talking. I didn't want you to get the wrong impression so i told him we would talk in the garden. There I explained to him that it's you whom I really love. What happened next was that I found you missing and later learned that you were searching for me, I just concluded that you saw us together. The next day, I tried to explain but then you never gave me a chance to do so. you continuously avoided me and never knew how much pain I've experienced that time. I felt the world crushing on me. In our Graduation day, when I approached you, I wanted to tell you how much I love you but I decided that I just couldn't do it. I could not bear to hear that all you feel for me is just brotherly hand of love. For I want you to love me as a woman and not as a girl or playmate. So I just turned away and left.


Now that saying I LOVE YOU might be too late, still I want you to know that I will always love you and my heart has always been and will be yours alone.


P.S.
Think of me sometimes.... and always remember that loving you was the best thing that ever happened in my life.



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I felt my tears falling as I folded the letter. I wanted to shout out to let her know that I love her, if not as much, but more than she did for me. I love her more than anything in this world. I knelt touching the soil of her grave and rain started to fall. I continued crying softly and whispered, "Oh God, send my love to heaven."

Introduction

Ohohohohoi!!!... This is my first time to create my own blog page...

Hey Guys out there, you may be check my blog page right this page... I'm kinda new but it was very nice...

I'll show you some cool stuffs after I'll finish this introduction. You want some love stories, sort of information stuffs, cool online gaming.. and lot more.

We'll anyway, as an overview of myself - i'm just kinda the type of easy going person, fun of playing jokes and of course the on you trust with. A graduate of Computer related course and is currently working at a certain prestigious company.